Chemo #5

This past week was really hard for me. I was still having side effects from the AC and preparing to start the new drug Taxol. I called the nurse on Tuesday to discuss my side effects and we talked about the Taxol treatment. She reminded me that I was getting dose dense Taxol and the infusion time is 3 hours with an hour for pre-meds. She said this is different than weekly taxol which is what most of the people I was following on the Paxman website were getting. She said “basically we are hitting you with a hammer”. This dose also causes hair loss. She encouraged me to start taking B6 and glutamine to help deal with neuropathy and other pain that goes along with Taxol. I immediately started getting very anxious about my treatment. I realized that if I continue to cold cap it would be 5 and 1/2 or 6 hours with the cold cap on with this new treatment. It was already so uncomfortable the last time because my hair is so thin. So after a lot of anxiety and crying, I decided to stop using the cold cap. It was a very hard decision for me. It felt like I was failing and letting myself down. The nurse practitioner understood what I was going through and walked me to the treatment area to let them know I wouldn’t be using the cold cap anymore. They let me choose a chair and started the pre-meds. They gave me the Ativan anyway to help with my nerves. So I dozed (and snored) for a while and once the Taxol started I woke up every 30 minutes to go to the restroom. They must add a lot of fluid to the medication. There is no way I would have been able to disconnect and connect that many times with the cold cap on. So it actually worked out better. Fortunately, I didn’t have any reactions to the new medicine and after 4 hours I was able to leave. I found that I was not as groggy after this treatment as I was on the AC. However, on Friday night I started having tingling in my fingers and toes that kept me up and by Saturday afternoon I had throbbing pain from my knees to my feet which kept me awake Saturday night. I hurt all day Sunday. I tried everything – bath with epsom salts, massage, yoga, stretching, etc. Finally the pain lessened and I was able to sleep most of the night Sunday night. My hemoglobin levels are still low which adds to my fatigue. I asked the nurse if there was anything I could do and she said no. It’s just part of it. Not very encouraging so I just have to focus on getting to the end of this. Just 3 more treatments to go!